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1. Faithfulness is commanded by God in the scriptures.Heb 13:4
2. Being faithful to your lover encourages your lover to be faithful to you.
3. Being faithful makes your relationship/marriage last. The quickest and easiest way to end your relationship/marriage is by cheating.

4. Being faithful gives you peace of mind, you don’t have to watch your tracks, you are not paranoid, trying to remember every lie you say.
5. Being faithful boosts the quality of your sex life. Faithfulness is sexy. When your spouse knows you are faithful your spouse will give you great sex, no one feels safe sexing a spouse who has been with another.
6.Being  faithful will teach your children and observant neighbours to be faithful in the future
7. Being faithful makes you focus on your relationship/marriage. You are not distracted, flirting with another/s or sexing another/others. Focus makes you have a healthy love life.
8. There cannot be love without faithfulness.
9. If you don’t want to be faithful, why are you in that relationship/marriage? What is the point of committing if you will not be exclusive? If you are tired of the commitment, end it; don’t stay and cheat, that shows how low you stoop, making a mockery out of your commitment.
10. God is faithful, strive to be like God. God is love.
11 Faithfulness sets the right example for your children to follow. Children learn from our actions and behavior.
12. Being faithful has a positive effect on your character. That way, you are able to live out your greatness with confidence. Integrity is important, and it starts by how you live your private life, it gives moral authority. Mess up your private life and everything else will fall apart.
13. Faithful people are happier, more relaxed, more fulfilled, they smile more; their conscience is clear, living a life that is not stressful, empty or complicated.
14. Being faithful makes you proud of yourself. Yes, you may feel macho or in control when you cheat, you may numb your conscience. But when your unfaithfulness breaks the good that you have and hurts the person and the family you should have been faithful to, it will hurt you too. It will be difficult to live with yourself.
15. Being faithful makes your lover trust you, and with trust, he/she surrenders and gives all to you, you get to know your lover deeply as access is fully granted to you. Without trust, you will never fully receive all the blessings your lover brings.
16. Being faithful makes others respect you. When you stand your ground and tell off those trying to lure you from the one you are committed to, when you publicly show loyalty to your lover, the public will respect you, people will admire you.
17. Unfaithfulness brings diseases; not just sexual diseases but the rotting of your heart, it darkens and poisons the amazing person you actually are, condoms cannot protect you from the decay of your soul.
18. There is no benefit in being unfaithful, no fruit, reward or advantage; just pain, regret and destruction. Unfaithfulness feeds on your selfish side and blinds you.
19. The person you are being unfaithful with doesn’t have your best interest at heart but seeking to feed his/her selfish desire and needs. That person doesn’t care about the mess he/she is bringing to your life. Yes, you two may feel close, you may even say you love each other; but even terrorists and thieves have a sense of love and belonging amongst each other, you two are criminals committing a crime. That person has personal issues, that’s why he/she doesn’t respect your legitimate commitment. And you are foolish to allow yourself to be led astray, that person is short term wrecking your lifetime.
20. Eventually the thrill of unfaithfulness will go. When people venture into unfaithfulness, it feels so good, exciting and pleasurable. You plan secret meetings with the one you are cheating with, you enjoy; but soon you will realize it is wrong, the affair will collapse, you will outgrow your stupidity. Sadly, you come back to what is important, you come back to your legitimate relationship/marriage/family, back to the treasure you used to invest in only to realize it is too late, the damage is done. You destroyed something so great, you destroyed a once in a lifetime blessing, for something so meaningless.

1. Failing to Plan for Life after Wedding

2. Not Understanding what Marriage is

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers (1 Peter 3:7) In other words, you must treat with respect and sensitivity this fragile creature God has made, called woman. She is fragile not only because you can beat her at arm wrestling, but because you can crush her spirit with brutish words and actions of disrespect. Note the clear warning at the end of this Scripture. Do you want God to listen to your prayers? Then you must honor and value your wife. Here are some ways you can honor your wife:
1. Be sensitive to her needs.
If you ask your wife what she needs and then listen carefully, she will reveal her needs to you. Then ask God to help you meet as many of those needs as you can.

2. Let your actions, as well as your words, show her respect.
Don't sit in front of the television while she washes the dishes, picks up after the kids, gets them to bedm and then does three loads of laundry. She's more than a mommy, a maid, a cook, and a nurse. She's your partner. Besides, if Jesus could wash feet, you can wash dishes.

3. Pay attention to her when she talks to you.
Put down the paper, mute the television, look her in the eyes, and respond in more than monosyllables.

4. Be considerate, and use gentle and kind words with your wife.
You can deeply wound her spirit with harsh, discounting words. It's bad enough when this is done in private, but it's devastating when done in public. Remember, a wounded heart finds it hard to give love.

5. Accept her feelings.
You may not understand them, but you must respect them as real and genuine. Never tell her, "You shouldn't feel that way, Honey." when you say things like that, you're telling her that you think her feelings are stupid.
6. Accept her as she is without comparing her to others.
When you criticize, you are saying: "I don't like you the way you are. Be different, or I won't love you." On the other hand, if you show her that you love and accept her just the way she is, she may change simply because she feels free to do so. Regardless, you must allow her to be all she can be, not all you want her to be.
7. Be faithful and loyal, living up to her trust.
Unfaithfulness is the ultimate dishonor to your wife. Before God, commit yourself to being a faithful husband. Be faithful in your thoughts and actions. When you honor your wife, you honor your marriage. Hebrews 13:4 declares that marriage is valuable and precious to you? Do you see your wife as valuable, precious, and worthy of honor and respect? Remember...you promised.

1. Love God with whole of your heart.
When you love the Lord,you haven  created a solid foundation for a lasting home. Love Him deeply, passionately and fully. He will make it His duty to preserve your home against the destroyers
2. Surround yourself with couples who have strong marriages.
According to Jim Rohn You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20
3.Take care of yourself.
Be beauty conscious even if you are developing old age wrinkles. Dont allow your husband to begin to compare you negatively to others.Remember:'Men look at outward appearance...'
4. Forgive your spouse and forgive yourself
5. Choose joy
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22
Dont allow anything to steal your joy...God will take care of the rest!
6. Talk together a lot.
Talk  about the little things, about small things. Especially when you don’t feel like talking
Relationship walls begin to build up when we stop talking about the little things.Regular conversation breeds understanding
7. Cultivate friendship
Its easier, more fruitful, to work at being a better friend than being a better spouse. (It’s tricking your mind, really.) There’s nothing a man (or woman) wouldn’t do for a friend.
Wounds from a friend can be trusted. Proverbs 27:6
8. Protect your marriage
Always and forever. No excuses.Dont give room to third party interference!Beside every home is a serpent.Be careful!
9.Woman,never take your husband for granted.
Thank him for what he does, even if it’s his duty. Make him a big deal. Always.
10. Honor your husband,honour your wife
As a wife,In the big things and the small things:Be intentional about lifting your husband up. Make it your ambition to bath your relationship with honor, even in  moments of disagreements.As a man, obey the scriptures :Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel
11. Dream together
12. Put on the mindset of Christ
See life and your husband through the eyes of Christ. A great marriage is only possible when we see and treat others as Christ does.
Whoever claims to love in him must live as Jesus did. 1 John 2:6
13.Pursue each other.
Not just to the bedroom...but in physical life.Dont let him leave you behind...in knowledge,in things of the spirit and in exposure.
14. Laugh often, loud and long
He might never make it to “the funniest man” list in town, but make him feel like he’s the most entertaining guy in yours. Nothing blesses a guys heart like a happy laughing wife. And knowing he’s the source. As a man make your wife laugh...get a joke out of every brewing misunderstanding.
A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:13
15. Be a hottie in bed.
No matter what,be creative in bed.Routine sex is boring.See to it that your spouse is super satisfied! Or at least try. Begin to try.
16. Speak up more
Instead of assuming he/she can read your mind
17. Be willing to “lose”
If you win every agreement you may lose the peace at home!
18. Think more about making your marriage work
Marriage thrives when we put a little more thought to it. It cannot thrive on left-over attention, you have to give your best effort.
19. Surprise him/her
With gifts, with notes, with attention, with meals, in bed. Cultivate a little mystery. Invite him for a mystery celebration.
20. Don’t try to be the Holy Spirit
Be his wife/husband. That’s all God wants from you. All the job He gave you.You cant change anyone easily.Adapt,understand and influence
21. Pray for him/her daily
Prayer is a shield to the soul, a sacrifice to God, and a scourge for Satan – John Bunyan
22. Call your spouse regularly,when the two of you are far apart. text him everyday
Let him/her know he’s loved, thought of and cherished.But dont monitor partner as if you dont trust him.Even if he is not trustworth...trust him or at least pretend as if you do
23. Praise more than you criticize
“You get more of what you affirm. Have you ever noticed that when someone praises you, you want to repeat the behavior that caused it? Notice the good things and affirm (your spouse). Call them out. Acknowledging your spouse is huge in terms of reinforcing the behavior and getting more of what you like.” – Michael Hyatt
 Outdo one another in showing honor Romans 12:10
24.Touch each other often.
In the car, as you watch TV, as you walk in town or the mall or grocery aisle, in church. Don’t wait for him to reach for your hand, reach for his. Constant physical touch is good for your souls and the soul of your marriage.
25. Communicate your love.
It’s not enough to say “I love you”. Put it into action through care,attention and discussion.
26. Pray before you confront.
And continue praying during and after. Invite God into your heartache before you invite your spouse.
27. Admire him/her
As a wife gush over how strong he is as he lifts and moves things around the house. Touch his body in wonder. Marvel at his thinking and ideas. Make him feel like the most amazing man on earth. Because he is. Or should beat leastTo you.
As a man,show your admiration by your looks and your touch!
28. Put down the phone, shut the computer listen to your wife
Peace and quiet. Give each other undivided attention.
29.Be an easy to please partner
Don’t make it hard for your man/woman to please you..
30.Respect your in laws.

1. Keep your mind on your main goal, which is to have a happy marriage. Say and do what will enable you and your spouse to have a happy marriage. Avoid the opposite.
2. Keep asking yourselves, What can we do to have a happy, loving atmosphere in our home?
3.  Focus on giving, rather than taking. Say and do as many things as possible to meet your spouses needs.
4.  Keep doing and saying things that will give your spouse a sense of importance.
5.  Frequently ask yourself, What positive things can I say and do to put my (husband or wife) in a positive emotional state?
6.  Before speaking, clarify the outcome you want. The meaning of your communication is the response you actually get. If the first thing you say is not achieving your goal, change your approach. Remember that mutual respect and happiness is your real goal. Do not needlessly argue. Silence is often the wisest choice. Constantly be mutually respectful.
7.  Show appreciation and gratitude in as many ways as possible. Say something appreciative a few times a day.
8.  Be a good listener. Understand your spouse from his or her point of view.
9.  Be considerate of the feelings and needs of your spouse. Think of ways that you have lacked consideration and be resolved to increase your level of consideration.
10.  Instead of blaming and complaining think of positive ways to motivate your spouse. If your first strategies are not effective, think of creative ways.
11.  Give up unrealistic expectations. Do not expect your spouse to be perfect and do not make comparisons.
12.  Do not cause pain with words. If your spouse speaks to you in ways that cause you pain, choose outcome wording, Lets speak to each other in ways that are mutually respectful.
13.  Be willing to compromise. Be willing to do something you would rather not do in return for similar behavior from your spouse.
14.  Write a list of ways that you have benefited from being married to your spouse. Keep adding to the list and reread it frequently.
15.  Write a list of your spouses positive patterns and qualities. Keep adding to the list and read it frequently.
16.  Keep thinking about what you can do to bring out the best qualities of your spouse. Reinforce those qualities with words and action.
17.  Focus on finding solutions to any problems that arise. Be solution oriented. Do not just blame and complain. Do not focus on who is more wrong. For a happy marriage, work together to find mutually acceptable solutions.
18.  Remember your finest moments. What did you say and do when you felt best about each other? Increase them.
19.  Look for positive activities you can do together.
20.  Live in the present. What went wrong in the past is the past. You create the present and future with your thoughts, words, and actions right now. Choose them wisely.

1. Establish your own private home.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24.
 God's rule is specific. A married couple must leave father and mother and establish their own home, even if finances require that it be a one-room apartment. Husband and wife should decide together on such policies as these. Then she should inform her relatives and he, his. They must remain firm no matter who opposes. Thousands of divorces would be avoided if this rule were carefully followed.
2. Continue your courtship.
"Above all hold unfailing your love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8, RSV. "Her husband . . . praiseth her." Proverbs 31:28. "She that is married careth . . . how she may please her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:34. "Be kindly affectioned one to another . . . in honour preferring one anther." Romans 12:10.
 Continue (or perhaps revive) the courtesies of courtship in your married life. Successful marriages do not just happen; they must be developed. Do not take each other for granted, or the monotony that results will destroy your marriage. Keep love growing by expressing love for one another or it will die, and you will drift apart. Love and happiness are not found by seeking them for yourself but rather by giving them to others. So spend as much time as possible doing things together if you would get along well. Learn to greet each other with enthusiasm. Relax, visit, shop, sightsee, eat together. Do not overlook the little courtesies, encouragements, and affectionate acts. Surprise each other with little gifts or favors. Try to "outlove" each other. Do not take more out of marriage than you put into it. Divorce itself is not the greatest destroyer of marriage, but rather, lack of love. Given a chance, love always wins.
3. Remember that God joined you together in marriage.
"For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife. . . . Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Matt 19:5, 6.
 Has love almost disappeared from your home? The devil (that notorious home-breaker) is responsible for this. Do not forget that God Himself joined you together in marriage, and He intends for you to stay together and be happy. He will bring happiness and love into your lives if you will obey His divine rules (commandments). "With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26. Do not despair. God, who places love in the heart of a missionary for a leprous savage, can easily give you love for each other if you will let Him.
4. Guard your thoughts-do not let your senses trap you.
"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife." Exodus 20:17. "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." Proverbs 4:23. "Whatsoever things are true, . . . honest, . . . just, . . . pure, . . . lovely, . . . of good report; . . . think on these things." Philippians 4:8.
 The wrong kind of thinking will destroy your marriage. The devil will trap you with thoughts like these: "Our marriage was a mistake." "She does not understand me." "I can't take much more of this." "We can always divorce if necessary." "I'll go home to mother." "He smiled at that woman." Stop thinking thoughts like these or your marriage is gone, because your thoughts and senses govern your actions. Avoid seeing, saying, reading, or hearing anything that (or associating with anyone who) suggests impurity or unfaithfulness. Thoughts uncontrolled are like an automobile in neutral on a hill. Anything can happen, and the result is always disaster.
5. Never retire for the night angry with each other.
"Let not the sun go down upon your wrath." Ephesians 4:26. "Confess your faults one to another." James 5:16. "Forgetting those things which are behind." Philippians 3:13. "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32.

 To remain angry and upset over hurts and grievances (big or little) is exceedingly dangerous. Unless quickly solved, even little problems become set in your mind as convictions and attitudes adversely affecting your whole philosophy of life. This is why God says to let anger cool before retiring at night. Be big enough to forgive and to say with sincerity, "I'm sorry." After all, no one is perfect; and you are both on the same team, so be sportsmanlike enough to honestly admit a mistake when you make it. Besides, making up is a very pleasant experience, with unusual powers to draw marriage partners closer together. God suggests it! It works!
6. Keep Christ in the center of your home.
"Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it." Psalm 127:1. "In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:6. "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7.

 This is the greatest rule. It really covers all the others. Put Christ first! The real secret of true happiness in the home is not diplomacy, strategy, and untiring effort to overcome problems, but rather, union with Christ. Hearts filled with Christ's love can never be very far apart. With Christ in the home, marriage will be successful. The gospel is the cure for all marriages that are filled with hatred, bitterness, and disappointment. It prevents thousands of divorces by miraculously restoring love and happiness. It will save your marriage, too, if you are willing.

7. Pray together.
"Pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41. "Pray one for another." James 5:16. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally." James 1:5.

 Pray aloud for each other! This is a wonderful rule that succeeds beyond the wildest dream. Kneel before God and ask Him for true love for one another, for forgiveness, for strength, for wisdom-for the solution to problems. God has given a personal guarantee that He will answer. The praying person is not automatically cured of all of his faults, but he will have a heart that wants to do right. No family ever breaks up while sincerely praying together for God's help.

8. Agree that divorce is not the answer.
"What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder." Matthew 19:6. "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." Matthew 19:9. "The woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth." Romans 7:2.

 The Bible is clear. The ties of marriage are meant to be indissoluble and indestructible. Divorce is permissible only in the case of adultery. But even then it is not demanded, only permitted. Forgiveness is always better than divorce, even in the case of a morel fall. Marriage is for life. God so ordained it when He performed the first wedding in Eden. Thoughts of divorce as a solution will destroy any marriage. This is one reason Jesus ruled it out. Divorce is always destructive and almost never a solution to the problem. Instead, it creates much greater problems, so it should never be considered. Torn, frustrated, unhappy, twisted lives almost inevitably follow divorce; and even success in life itself is often thwarted. God instituted marriage to guard people's purity and happiness, to provide for their social needs, and to elevate their physical, mental, and moral nature. It's vows are among the most solemn and binding obligations that human beings can assume. To lightly set them aside results in removing one's self from God's favor and blessing.

9. Keep the family circle closed tightly.
"Thou shalt not commit adultery." Exodus 20:14. "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. . . . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11, 12. "The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou has dealt treacherously." Malachi 2:14. "Keep thee from the evil woman. . . . Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. . . . Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? . . . So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent." Proverbs 6:24-19.

 Family intimacies must never be shared with others-not even with parents. It is a great sin and a tragedy to break this God-given rule. A third person to sympathize or listen to complaints is a tool of the devil to estrange the hearts of husband and wife. Solve your home problems privately. No one else (except your minister or marriage counselor) should ever be involved. Always be truthful with each other, and never keep secrets from each other. Tell no jokes at the expense of your spouse's feelings. Vigorously defend each other, and strictly exclude all intruders. And as for adultery (in spite of what some marriage counselors say), it always hurts you and everyone else involved. God, who knows our mind, body, and emotional structure (and knows what helps or hurts us) says, "Thou shalt not." And when He says, "Don't," we had better not. Those who ignore His rule will pay the supreme penalty. So if flirtations have begun, break them off at once, or shadows may settle over your life that cannot be lifted.
10. God describes love; make it your daily goal to measure up.
"Love is forbearing and kind. Love knows no jealousy. Love does not brag, is not conceited. She is not unmannerly, nor selfish, nor irritable, nor mindful of wrongs. She does not rejoice in injustice, but joyfully sides with the truth. She can overlook faults. She is full of trust, full of hope, full of endurance." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Weymouth.
 Please reread the above Scripture passage carefully. This is God's true description of love. How do you measure up? Love is not a sentimental impulse but a holy principle that involves every phase and action of life. With true love, your marriage cannot fail. Without it, it cannot succeed.

11. Remember that criticism and nagging destroy love.
"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." Colossians 3:19. "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman." Proverbs 21:19. "A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike." Proverbs 27:15. "Why beholdest thou the mote [splinter] that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam [whole board] that is in thine own eye?" Matthew 7:3. "Love . . . looks for a way of being constructive." 1 Corinthians 13:4, Phillips.

 Stop criticizing, nagging, and faultfinding. Your husband or wife may lack much, but nagging will not help. Do no expect perfection, or bitterness will result. Overlook faults, and hunt for the good things. Do not try to reform, control, or compel your partner-you will destroy love. Only God can change people. A sense of humor, a cheerful heart, kindness, patience, and affection will banish two-thirds of your marriage problems. Try to make your spouse happy rather than good, and the good will take care of itself. The secret of a successful marriage lies not in having the right partner, but rather in being the right partner.
12. Do not overdo in anything; be temperate.
"Every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things." 1 Corinthians 9:25. "Love . . . does not pursue selfish advantage." 1 Corinthians 13:5, Phillips. "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31. "I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection." 1 Corinthians 9:27. "If any would not work, neither should he eat." 2 Thessalonians 3:10. "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled." Hebrews 13:4. "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin." Romans 6:12, 13.

 Overdoing will ruin your marriage. So will underdoing. Work, love, rest, exercise, play, worship, meals, and social contacts must be carefully balanced in your marriage, or something will snap. Overwork and the lack of sleep, proper food, or exercise make a person critical, intolerant, and negative. Constant overeating is a great evil that strengthens the lower nature and dulls the conscience.

Sexual abuses destroy a love for holy things and weaken vitality. Marriage gives no license to sexual excesses. Degrading, twisted, or intemperate sex acts destroy love and respect for one another. A temperate sex life is recommended by the Bible (1 Corinthians 7:3-7). Social contacts with others are absolutely essential. True happiness cannot be found in isolation. We must learn to laugh and enjoy wholesome, good times. To be overly serious is dangerous. Overdoing or underdoing in anything weakens the mind, body, conscience, and the ability to love and respect one another. Do not let intemperance wreck your marriage.

13. Regard each other's personal rights and privacies.
"Love is forbearing. . . . Love knows no jealousy. . . . She is not unmannerly, nor selfish. . . . She does not rejoice in injustice. . . . She is full of trust." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Weymouth. "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another." Romans 12:10.

 Each spouse has a God-given right to certain personal privacies without explanation. Do not tamper with each other's wallets or purses, personal mail, and other private property unless given permission. The right to privacy and quietude when preoccupied should be respected. Your husband or wife even has a right to be wrong part of the time and is entitled to an "off-day" without being given the third degree. Marriage partners do not own each other and should never try to force personality changes. Only God can make such changes, and we shall all answer personally to Him on this matter (Romans 14:12). Perfect confidence and trust in one another-no checking up on each other- is absolutely essential for happiness. Spend less time trying to "figure out" your spouse and more time trying to please her or him. This works wonders.

14. Be clean, modest, orderly, and dutiful.
"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel." 1 Timothy 2:9. "She . . . works with willing hands." "She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household." "She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:13, 15, 27, RSV. "Be ye clean." Isaiah 52:11. "Let all things be done decently and in order." 1 Corinthians 14:40. "If any provide not . . . for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Timothy 5:8. "Be not slothful." Hebrews 6:12.

 Laziness, disorder, dirt, and slovenliness are the devil's weapons to destroy your respect and affection for one another, and thus ruin your marriage. Neat, modest attire and clean, well-groomed bodies are essential for both husband and wife. The meals should be wholesome, attractive, and served on time. The home should be clean and orderly, because this brings peace, calmness, and satisfaction to all. A lazy, shiftless husband who does not provide for his household is a curse to his family and an insult to God. Carelessness in some of these seemingly small matters is destroying homes by the thousands.

15. Determine to speak softly and kindly.
"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1. "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest." Ecclesiastes 9:9. "When I became a man, I put away childish things." 1 Corinthians 13:11.

 Force yourself to speak softly and kindly to your spouse. Silence, when one is attacked, is often the best method to cool wrath. Decisions made when angry, tired, or discouraged are unreliable anyway, so it is best to relax and let anger cool. And when you do speak, let it always be quietly and lovingly. Harsh, angry words crush your spouse's desire to please you.
16. Be reasonable in money matters.
"It [love] is not possessive. . . . Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage." 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5, Phillips. "God loveth a cheerful giver." 2 Corinthians 9:7.
 All possessions and income in marriage should be "ours," not "yours" and "mine." Wives who do not work outside the home should receive a regular amount for groceries, clothing, and other budgeted items. It should be cheerfully provided instead of grudgingly released under protest. Wife and husband both should have small, equal sums (whenever possible) to spend as desired without giving account. A miserly husband usually angers his wife into being a spender, just as a wasteful husband makes a wife stingy. Showing confidence in your companion's managing ability will usually make him or her more businesslike.

17. Talk things over and counsel together freely.
"It [love] is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance. . . . It is not touchy." 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5, Phillips. "He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul." Proverbs 15:32. "Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool than of him." Proverbs 26:12.

 Few things will strengthen your marriage more than counseling together on all major decisions. Changing a job or purchasing a home, an automobile, a boat, furniture, clothing (major items at least), and all other items that require money involve both husband and wife; and the opinions of both should be considered. Talking things over together will avoid many blunders that could ruin your marriage. If, after much discussion and earnest prayer, opinions still differ, the wife should submit to her husband's decision. Scripture is clear on this. (See Ephesians 5:22-24).
18. Dont always reject sexual overtures: Sex in marriage is important.‘All the evidence points to the fact that an active sex life keeps couples together,’ says Dr Geoff Hackett, a leading expert in sexual medicine and former chairman of the British Society for Sexual Medicine.
‘It promotes intimacy, reassurance, the realization that both parties are wanted and needed. It is hard to find researched evidence, but most surveys point to the fact that a lack of sex in a relationship is a leading factor in break-ups.
‘Once the sex goes, so many other problems follow. It has also been proven that couples — especially men — will live longer, happier lives if they remain in a steady, loving relationship. There is no doubt that a healthy sex life is one of the most important factors in a thriving and successful marriage.’
19.Respect your spouse to be respected
Perhaps while we promised respect, eternal love and devotion, we do not follow this oath? Maybe we did not understand that the marriage is a commitment to life and we must respect and honour the person with whom we connected our lives. Showing lack of respect to our partner, whether occasional or on a permanent basis, is perhaps the biggest mistake that we do. When respect is not mutual in a marriage then it is more likely that marriage will end up in a disaster.
20.Be a Responsible spouse:
In marriage,the man and the woman should understand their responsibilities and fulfill them.
Irresponsible partners cannot go far.

In the school of marriage your choice is your life. Your partner in marriage determines your place in destiny, because your partner is like your magnet drawing you to God or drawing you to hell. A lot of colorful destinies have been terminated as a result of wrong partners.
Samson, that great and highly anointed man of God fell as a result of a wrong partner. His destiny was short circuited; he was mocked and put to shame as a result of his wrong choice. Abigail, a woman of good understanding married a foolish and wicked husband (1Sam25v3)The resultant family was almost destroyed because of the conduct of the husband.

Beloved, beware. Take heed, that you may not enter into the trap of the devil and marry the wrong person. Here are some reasons why people marry wrongly:

1       WRONG FOUNDATION:
Building engineers made us to understand that, it is the strength of the foundation that will determine how strong a house will be. If the foundation is faulty the house can’t stand.      If the foundation is destroyed what can the righteous do?

Friends, Jesus Christ is the solid foundation for an enduring marriage. In your search for whom to marry, let Jesus have his place. Let his word and standard influence   your decision.

2          ATTEMPTING TO CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON:
If you are a child of God, a believer in Christ you need to go for people of like minds in the same  faith! Don’t think you can change anybody after marriage. Only God has power to change people.  The scripture says Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship hath righteousness and what communion has light with darkness?. God’s word is superior to your emotion or knowledge, you can’t be wiser than the only wise God.

3        SUCCUMBING TO PARENTAL PRESSURE:
You must understand that your parent do not power to choose for you. No one should be allowed to use your destiny to settle friendship.
When Rebecca was to go and marry Isaac, her parent called her to seek her consent. Gen sis 24:58 says “and they called Rebecca and said unto her, will thou go with this man? And she said I will go”.

The parent of Rebecca didn’t force her.Don’t allow anyone to force you. The word of God says in Proverb 18:22 “whosoever finds a wife, found a good thing and obtain favor from the Lord”. It is the duty of every man to find his own wife.

4           TRIBAL PREJUDICE:
As a believer, we all belong to the same family, the same tribe. Once you are in Christ, there is no difference between the Jews and the Greek. Don’t rule out any tribe when it comes to marriage, the most important thing is that your partner should be washed in the blood of Jesus.

5          HASTY DECISION:
Marriage is an institution where many are rushing into while many want to rush out. You must therefore  look before you leap. To hook on to someone just because you want to get married as soon as possible, can be very dangerous. “He that hasteth with his feet sinneth”.

Why must you take foolish decision like that of Samson who saw Delilah and married her.(Judges16:4) He didn’t bother to know much about Delilah, what a hasty decision! Let God go before you and guide you, and in the name of Jesus, it shall be well.

6          AGE:
Marrying any one just because age is not longer on your side is very wrong. You’ve got to understand that for every Eve God has made, there is an Adam, and for every Adam, God has created an Eve..

If you are a lady, understand that God is not wicked. Definitely, your own Adam will come, and if you are a brother, you must know that God loves you and surely your Eve will come. Don’t force yourself on any man. Adam was relaxing when Eve was brought to him, therefore relax.

7          TOO MUCH CLOSENESS:When you are too close to a brother or a sister, your emotions may deceive you to think you are meant for each other, and bring you into a relationship you are not set for.

Amos3:3 said “can two walk together except they be agreed”? Even if the two of you are not in agreement before, by the time you become too close , what you don’t expect may happen.

8                    PHYSICAL BEAUTY:
Beauty is deceptive. What sustains marriage is beyond sight. To go into marriage because of physical beauty is to destroy your future home. If you marry anybody because of his or her appearance alone and something happen to that good shape, what will you do?. Allow God to lead you. Don’t lead yourself into any unwholesome relationship because of physical beauty. Remember that good shape will soon go, that fine face of today may become wrinkled tomorrow. If that beauty is your only reason for marriage, you are in trouble.

9          MATERIALISM:
“And he said unto them; beware of covetousness for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.    Luke12:15.
If you do not want to end your life in shame you must not marry anybody because of his property or possession.

You want to marry an unbeliever because of his posh car, believing that after marriage you will change him?. Don’t make that mistake please, it is very dangerous.

10        PROPHETIC TRAP:
Marrying because of the utterance of a prophet is dangerous. You have your life, live it well. If you are a genuine child of God you have the Spirit of God who can give you a green or a red light.

Beware of the prophet whose own family is in disarray! Okay, how can someone with five wives  prophesy you into a good home?

11        PEER PRESSURE

The fact that your mates, friends and colleagues have gone ahead of you in marriage does not mean that you should jump into marriage. Every man has his own destiny. Don’t be a fool! Just because all your mates are getting married does not mean you should force yourself on just anybody.

12        LONELINESS:
Marriage does not completely deliver one from loneliness. So, to go into marriage as a cure to loneliness is completely wrong. I’ve heard people say they are going to marry so that they can be free from loneliness.

If this is the only reason why you want to marry, you may fail. Loneliness is a matter of the mind. You can be amidst ten people and still feel lonely.

13        SOCIAL PRESSURE:
When you are too concerned about the word of men and not the word of God, you may ruin your own life. Look, the world around you may see your singleness as a defeat, but how you see yourself is what matters most. To allow people’s opinion to force you into any relationship that is not of God to ruin your life, because marriage is  life.

14        REPEATED DISAPPOINTMENTS:
If you rush into marriage because you have been disappointed for up to three or four times you may rush out again. According to Proverb 24:16 “for a just man falleth seven time, and riseth up again..”

The fact that you were disappointed twice last year does not mean you should marry just anybody as fast as you can!

15        SPIRITUAL WEAKNESS:
When you are weak spiritually you are opening the doors of your life to the devil and his agents who may come in and deceive you into a wrong relationship.

I have seen situations where people were charmed into marriage. Look you need spiritual strength so as to prevent any devil from hypnotizing you into any  marital bond you are not interested in.

1.      INSENSITIVITY TO LIES AND DECEPTION:
Are you a lady eager to get married? Then don’t throw away your common sense.Be at alert. Get ready to discern lies and gross deception. Don’t give in to sugar coated life stories. Don’t let any man who just met you last month tell you he cannot sleep because of you! Let no one play with your emotions. Be strong and be sensitive
.2.        PRIDE:
   “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” Luke 16:18
      If you think you are too much, your partner may elude you.  Don’t over estimate your beauty. Live in humility. Vashti was dethroned as a result of pride. God himself resist the proud and he giveth grace to the humble.
When you are proud, you are living outside the grace of God and apostle Paul said I am what I am by the grace of God. Without the grace of God you are useless.
3.      PRAYERLESSNESS:
A prayer less Christian is a powerless Christian.      Watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation…   Matthew 26:41.
The only way to escape the trap of the devil in marriage is through effective prayer. God must be talked to; he is still directing the affairs of men.
John 16:24  “Hitherto have ye asked anything in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.”
      For your joy to be full in marriage you must commune with God through effective prayer.
4.        INDISCIPLINE:
When you cannot discipline yourself, you may end up marrying the wrong person.
Discipline the way you relate with the members of the opposite sex.  Try to control the way you move around it is not every where you are invited to that you must go.
      Genesis 34:1-2
      “and Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land.  And when the son of hamor the hivite. Prince of the country. Saw her he took her, and laid with her, and defiled her.”
      Here, Dinah was defiled because she could not discipline herself.
5.        FEAR OF THE POWERS OF DARKNESS:
Ephesians 2:6 “….and hath raised us up together, in heavenly place in Christ Jesus”.
Where you are sitting now is the heavenly place, far above principalities and power.
I have seen people complaining I don’t ant to marry a witch and eventually they end up marrying an Ogbanje, why? Because what you fear will ultimately come to pass.
Job 3:25  “for the thing which I greatly fear is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come to me.”
6.       LIVING IN DISOBEDIENCE:
      1Sam. 15:22b
    “…behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams”.
If you are living in perpetual disobedience God will not be compelled to guide you. Until you obey the last instruction from heaven, you should not expect to receive any further instruction. Meanwhile, if there is no instruction there will be no direction, and if there is no direction, wrong marriage is inevitable.
7.       EVIL ASSOCIATION:
            1Cor 15:3   “…be not deceived; evil communications corrupt good manner”.
            Your companion can influence you into a wrong relationship. To marry according to God’s plan therefore, you must watch the kind of friends you move with.
A wise man once said “bad company is a disease, he who lies with dogs shall rise with lice”
You have a choice. You can decide on the kind of friend you want to move with.  Remember, friendship is not by force but by choice. Refuse any attempt by anyone to “fix” you up or organize a wife for you.
8.        BLACKMAIL:
You do not imprison yourself because of your past experience.  That you have been involved in immoral acts with someone and he/she is now threatening to tell everyone what you have done together is not enough reason to be wrongly married to him.
“If you don’t marry me l’ll tell everyone what you have done and I will expose you” thats cheap blackmail.
Understand that there is no saint without a past and there is no sinner without a future. To sink yourself into any unwholesome relationship because of your past is unwise.

9.           PREGNANCY
The fact that you made the mistake of getting pregnant for somebody when you were still an unbeliever and the issue of wedding has not come up between the two of you, does not means you should be coerced into marriage. If you will be patient and settled, you can still get God’s best for your life.
Try to discern what God is putting across into your mind and it shall be well.
10.       IMMORAL DRESSING
Immoral dressing does not attract, rather it repels. It has been said that like attract like. When you are the type that will always expose your body definitely people coming to you cannot be the serious type.
Your dressing determines your company. When you always dress to kill, you will end up marrying a killer.
Exo.20:26   …Let not your nakedness be discovered.
When material things are over exposed, they lose value. When you always dress like an harlot definitely you will end up marring an adulterer.
11.        MARRYING OUT OF PITY
To marry someone because you  pity him/her and believe  that, that is the only way you can help him is wrong. Marriage is not a pity ride, it is a life and death issue.
12.        WAY OF ESCAPE
Never get into marriage as a means of escaping family pressure, financial responsibility and social insult. Marriage is honorable when you enter into it at the right time. Settle down what the mind of God is concerning your life for now, then go ahead  and take the necessary steps.   In the name of Jesus you will laugh.
13.      RASH VOW or UNWHOLESOME COVENANT
Vowing that you will marry the first person to  have sex with you is not only rash but senseless. You must not be involved in what you will forever regret. Furthermore all those childish blood licking between two people,should not force you into eternal bondage.You can always call on spiritual leaders to conduct  deliverance for yo
14.        MISLEADING PASTORAL INFLUENCE
Understand that just as your parent doesn’t have the power to choose for you, so also is your pastor.
No pastor should dictate to you, who should be your wife/ husband. You can be counseled, he can advice you, but you have the final say.
Look, you must hearken to pastoral counseling because they are in the best position to correct you when you are going astray, but your pastor doesn’t have the power to choose for you.
15.         PASSION FOR SEX
If your major drive for marriage is sex, and sex only, you will end up marrying the available and not the responsible.
With sex as your only focus, it will only take six month after wedding before you realize that marriage is no fantasy.

Marriage is the only school where you get the Certificate before you start.
It's also a school where you will never graduate.
It's a school without a break or a free period.
It's a school where no one is allowed to drop out.
It's a school you will have to attend every day of your life.
It's a school where there is no sick leave or holidays.

It's a school founded by God:
1.On the foundation of love.
2.The walls are made out of trust.
3.The door made out of acceptance.
4.The windows made out of understanding
5.The furniture made out of blessings
6.The roof made out of faith.

Be reminded that you are just a student not the principal.
God is the only Principal.
Even in times of storms, don't be unwise and run outside.
Keep in mind that, this school is the safest place to be.
Never go to sleep before completing your
assignments for the day.

Never forget the C-word...Communicate.
Communicate with your classmate and with the Principal.
If you find out something in your classmate (spouse) that you do not appreciate.
Remember your classmate is also just a student not a graduate,
God is not finished with him/her yet.
So take it as a challenge and work on it together.

Do not forget to study the Holy Book (the main textbook of this school).
Start each day with a sacred assembly and end it the same way. Sometimes you will feel like not attending classes, yet you have to.
When tempted to quit find courage and continue.
Some tests and exams may be tough but remember
the Principal knows how much you can bear and yet
it's a school better than any other.

It's one of the best schools on earth; joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day.
Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject.
After all the years of theorizing about it, now you have a chance to practice it.
To be loved is a good thing, but to love is the greatest privilege of them all.
Marriage is a place of love, so love your spouse.
More grace from God.

To get at the best in anything, you need facts. I consider facts as the father of success. Every success in marriage is fathered by facts, not luck. Quite a number of people have very peaceful and harmonious homes. Some are not even Christians, but they have unconsciously engaged the vital law of success in marriage the law of sense. Many have put the blame for their troubled homes at the door of the devil. But I believe the devil is not to be blamed for some of the problems we find in homes today. Some of them are self-caused. The Bible says by wisdom is a house built and by understanding it is established (Prov. 24:3-4). Wisdom has a way of establishing peace and serenity in the home. But it places a responsibility on you. Men with successful homes have accepted the responsibility of loving their wives, and the wives have also accepted the responsibility of submitting to their husbands. The Bible sense for getting into marriage or for enjoying a successful home is accepting your responsibility in designing or determining your destiny.

I believe that shortage of sense is the reason for problems in the home. Marriage is neither a myth nor magic. It is a relationship consciously entered into. You can't wake up one morning and find somebody by your side. That happened only once in the garden of Eden, never to happen again. Marriage is a good thing established by God, for the benefit of man. But to enjoy the benefits, it must be entered into as God intended it to be. Starting right is the solid foundation for success in marriage. The Bible says in
 Psalm 11:3:
  If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?
Success in marriage starts even before a couple enters into marriage. A sure foundation sets the pace for a successful home.
1. Finding The Person
"How do I get into marriage?" is the first question you must ask. The answer is in
 Proverbs 18:22:
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. "Whoso findeth..."
 not, "Whoso prayeth or fasteth", or "Whoso his father giveth a wife..." Finding a wife is a conscious act. It doesn't happen in a sleep or dream. You enter into marriage with your senses alive. You consciously engage yourself in a finding process, by opening your mind and eyes to locate who you can spend your lifetime with. The finding process is not spiritual, but a practical one. You open your eyes wide to find a partner. After finding, you evaluate what you have found, if it is what you really want or not. For a believer, there are two basic criteria for determining who to marry.
Must Be A Believer
No matter the counsel, dream, or vision, there is no meeting point between a Christian and a sinner. The Abrahamic covenant demands that you marry among your kinsmen only. You're not permitted to marry strangers.
In simple language, the unbeliever is out of the question for a believer, no matter how you feel about it or how much you would have loved to.The Bible is clear on this.
 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: forwhat fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
 2 Corinthians 6:14-16
Considering an unbeliever for marriage is completely out of the question, no matter how well you are convinced that someday he or she will be saved. If you go on in a relationship with an unbeliever, it is easier for you to backslide than for you to get him saved. This is because it is easier to be pulled down from a height than to be pulled up from a well or valley. It is Scripturally unsafe for you to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. No matter what possession the unbeliever has, he is out of the way. Even if she is the most beautiful lady on earth, she is out of the way. Even if you claim he looks gentle, there are many gentle devils. A gentleman does not mean a saved man. You may say, "In fact, since I knew him, he has never hurt a fly." You will be the first fly he will hurt! You don't need to pray or think about considering an unbeliever as a marriage partner. God gave us brains so we can let Him rest. God doesn't listen to prayers that negate His Word. Your friends and church members may hear your groaning in prayer, but God won't, if it contradicts His Word.
Agreement
The second criterion for making your choice on who to marry is agreement. The Bible says:
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?   Amos 3:3
You ask yourself, "Do we agree? Are we working towards a common goal?" If you desire a successful home, then you must sincerely answer these questions. You don't need prayer to be able to answer them.
If the person is bothered about your prayer life, then you're not heading in the same direction. If she feels uncomfortable when you read the Bible, then you should not bother about her. If your going to church is a concern to him, you might end up in a shrine. If he can't stand your relations, you can't have a good home. "Are we agreeable?" Answering this question has a lot to do with your ability to analyze issues. After these two criteria have been met, then you can make your choice of a marriage partner. Don't be afraid to make your choice, because even God respects your choice (Deut. 30:19). To marry someone you don't like makes you a fool.
Propose
The next thing to do is to propose to the lady. You go ahead to communicate to the person of your choice, your desire to marry her. When you propose to a lady, give her a chance to decide whether she wants to marry you or not.If she is in a church where some protocols are to be followed….dont allow that to frustrate you.
When a lady says "No" to your proposal, go and look elsewhere for a wife. She has a right to choose who she wants to marry, so don't blackmail or stampede her into marrying you by telling her God said she is your wife. Everyone has a right to decide who he or she wants to marry. Marriage is by choice, not by force.
 
2. Courtship
 After proposing to a lady and she has agreed to marry you, the next thing to do is to obey the Biblical injunction to prove all things (1 Thess. 5:21). No matter how much you're convinced that you have made a right choice of who to marry, you need to prove the relationship. The courtship period is the time to prove your relationship. Proving all things is the essence of courtship. It gives you the opportunity of proving your choice. Yes, your spirit agrees that you have made the right choice, but you still need to prove all things. So, take time to prove your choice. Courtship is a fact-finding period. Marriage without courtship naturally ends in crisis, because there was no opportunity to get to know each other and prove whether the choice made was wise or not. Impatience is responsible for many marriage failures in the west today. A lot of marriages in America today don't last for more than three months, and the data keep getting worse by the day. This is because a man can meet a lady on the subway and say to her, "Hi, I am Thomas. Can you go out with me this Saturday? After that, can we be married the next Saturday?" The lady says, "Why not?" Their next meeting after that is on their wedding day. But very shortly after, Thomas says to Jane, "Jane, I am sorry I met you. It is the greatest mistake of my life. Let's call it quits." A woman can just walk out of the house, saying, "I'm tired, I'm fed up." She leaves her home, leaving a note in the hand of the baby. The baby munches half of it, and the man returns home to meet the remaining half! This is why there is need to prove the relationship by knowing one another well enough before getting into marriage. Courtship can be broken. This should not be mistaken for divorce. There is a no law in the Bible that says one can't break a courtship. Courtship is only a period of proving your compatibility. If you are not compatible, then the relationship should end there and not continue any further. If your ideas and ideals are not similar, common sense demands that you call it quits.
Many who have problems in their homes today saw the problems ahead, but they still went ahead, like a horse and a mule that have no understanding. You say, "How can I break our courtship? Our group leader already knows." By the time you start boxing yourselves at home, your group leader would have gone to work! Which group leader are you talking about anyway? I was the leader of my group when I decided I didn't want to marry the lady I first was engaged to any more. Courtship is a covenant culture for a successful marriage. It gives you the opportunity to change your mind in the process. So one month is not sufficient for courtship. Two months is risky. Man is a complex being, so you need enough time to logically and analytically assess your choice, and get to know each other well. The proving process is the personal responsibility of the individuals involved, because they are the ones to live together. Do not allow your parents or Family to prove your spouse for you.

3. Proceed
 After you have satisfactorily proved your relationship, you can then go on to the next stage of informing members of your Family about the relationship. This is the time to meet each other's parents and Family members. You are not permitted to proceed, until you're satisfied with the available facts about each other. When you are satisfied with your proofs, then go ahead and make announcements. You will lose respect before people, if today you introduce somebody to them, and come back tomorrow to say you are no longer marrying each other.
4. Protect Each Other
While in courtship, there is the need to protect the relationship from incurring the anger of God. You must protect your destiny by protecting yourself from defilement. Hebrews 13:4 says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Courtship period is not the time to prove if your fiancee can be pregnant or not. That is not allowed in the covenant. It sows a seed of shame for the future and turns God's favour away from you. The covenant demands that you protect the relationship from defilement. The honour of marriage is an undefiled bed. For those who are ignorant of this, the former things God has overlooked. Those who know it pay heavily for disobeying. I was in courtship for six years. One day, the enemy told me, "I will make sure you fall into fornication." I told my wife-to-be what the devil told me, and said to God, "If I ever go into it, strike me with leprosy." That settled the matter, as I wasn't ready to be a leper. Every beautiful thing has a price tag. So protect your relationship, and you will enjoy dignity at the end of the day.
5. Protest
If in an attempt to protect your relationship certain unpleasant things develop, then you have the right to protest.
 Protest means pointing out the unacceptable issues you have discovered in one another before marriage. You have the right to tell your fiance(e), when you discover an unacceptable thing with him or her, "No, no, no, I can't take that!" You can tell him or her, "That step is not acceptable. It is wrong, for so and so reason." If you can't understand yourselves before you get married and start living together, you will never have an outstanding Family. You need to know what goes well, and understand the reasons behind it. You had earlier agreed on certain terms, and then suddenly there is a change or a deviation. You are allowed to react, in order to put the issues right. That way, when you are married, there will be freedom of communication. Disagreements should be allowed from both parties.
6. Prepare For The Future
 So Jotham became mighty, because he prepared his ways before the Lord his God.  2 Chronicles 27:6
Jotham became great because he prepared his ways. Behind every great accomplishment is great preparation. In any task, your output is naturally a function of your preparation. God cannot prepare for you. He said,
"Prepare ye the way of the Lord"   (Matt. 3:3).
You prepare for marriage by taking practical steps towards marriage. What you're not prepared for, you can't succeed in. You can't be a squatter and want to marry. You can't afford to continue living the way you were living before you got married after marriage.

Marriage is not for boys in the kingdom; it is for men. If you want to enjoy the full blessings of God in marriage, be mentally, spiritually and physically prepared for your home.
 Matthew 19:5
 ...For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
A man leaves, not a boy! Marriage is not for girls and boys, it is for men and ladies. Peace and maturity in the home is a function of the parties involved. In recent times there are too many boys and girls in marriage, giving birth to babies. Marriage is for the matured. Maturity has nothing to do with biological age. It is a personal development, that demands that a man or woman be responsible. For instance, to want to get married without a job, a house, and the basic needs of a home is a sign of gross irresponsibility. It is scripturally not permitted for parents to sponsor their children's marriage. If a man can't handle the necessary expenses for his wedding, then it is dangerous to entrust a human being into his care. Maturity determines serenity. Harmony and peace are all products of maturity, therefore, you need a matured mind and body. There is nothing more frustrating than being tied to the apron strings of your parents. Christianity does not equal stupidity. Your mind must be sound. Until you can stand your ground, you are not a man. You're not permitted to marry, until you accept full responsibility for your choice.

7. Possess
When all these are fully in place, you can then march to the altar together to be  joined as husband and wife. This is the appropriate time to possess your husband or wife, and the home is born. It is at this point that the young man can now stand in front of many witnesses and say, "I, Victor … or I, Samuel…wed thee…" The man is set for the home. He is in shape both mentally and physically. He is leaving boyhood for manhood. Until these processes are fully in place, it is not safe to marry. It is only at this point that you can be convinced that you have a goodly heritage, and that a great future is established for your home. It is then you can be sure that you are heading for something very colourful and glorious.
...For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?  Matthew 19:5
This is the foundation. For your home to be successful, the couple must both leave their parents to cleave to each other. You can't enjoy peace in your home when for every small decision, you run home to mum and dad. It means you never left home in the first place. A boy can't leave home; only men can. Neither can a girl leave home; girls live at home. Immaturity is the reason why many couples are in a house, but are not at home. They are married to their spouses quite alright, but they are at home with their parents. Your parents or Family members are not supposed to be involved in the initial moves for marriage. They should not be involved, until all the facts have been properly analysed and a decision reached.
marriage is fathered by facts, not luck. Quite a number of people have very peaceful and harmonious homes. Some are not even Christians, but they have unconsciously engaged the vital law of success in marriage the law of sense. Many have put the blame for their troubled homes at the door of the devil. But I believe the devil is not to be blamed for some of the problems we find in homes today. Some of them are self-caused. The Bible says by wisdom is a house built and by understanding it is established (Prov. 24:3-4). Wisdom has a way of establishing peace and serenity in the home. But it places a responsibility on you. Men with successful homes have accepted the responsibility of loving their wives, and the wives have also accepted the responsibility of submitting to their husbands. The Bible sense for getting into marriage or for enjoying a successful home is accepting your responsibility in designing or determining your destiny.
The race is not permitted to begin, until after these things have been put in place. If you are absolutely responsible for your choice, then you won't look for someone to blame. You will not fail! Your home shall be the haven God created it to be, in Jesus' name!
 
Written By Bishop David Oyedepo (Edited by me)

1. Every relationship is like a building. The beauty, strength, size and durability of relationship are determined by the foundation upon which the relationship is built. Build on
the word of God.
2. Forgiveness strengthens and builds relationship……Forgiveness nourishes
love……Forgiveness helps to heal broken hearts – internal hurts and wounds.
3. You can’t be one with God and not love.
4. Marriage is commitment to a person you dearly love to share your lives together till death
do you path.
5. It takes your all to make marriage succeed. Your whole heart, love, money, energy,
creativity and entire personality are required.
6. For your marriage to work, don't concentrate on what your spouse can give or buy for you,
but concentrate on what you can give to make your spouse happy.
7. No relationship will succeed when only one party is giving and making input for the
success of the relationship. It takes two to succeed in a relationship.
8. If the two of you will attempt to outdo each other in showing love, caring and buying of
gifts, I assure you, your relationship will stand the test of time.
9. Sincerity is the ingredient that heals hurts in relationships. It enables one to accept
responsibility of mistakes and offenses committed within the relationship, apologize and
make amends.
10. Selfishness, greed and secrecy are destroyers of relationship any day, any time anywhere.
11. Becoming like Christ takes away stress from marriage.
12. Submission is the key to greater love.
13. Freedom of sex expressions in marriage strengthens the bond of love and oneness.
14. Love without sacrifice is, fake.
15. Love without patience will not last.
16. Troublesome mother-in laws are not devils, but have only failed to realize that their sons
and daughters are no longer babies but independent adults.
17. Your vision of your marriage determines the way you approach matters in your home.
18. Marriage is serious responsibility. And courtship is a time to develop in taking
responsibilities.
19. Quarrelling does not change people or situations.
20. Becoming more like Christ is the pathway to marital bliss.
21. Your children are the blessings and responsibilities of your marriage.
22. Your children’s habits and character depends on your investment of love, time and money
into their lives.
23. Time and effort invested in making yourselves compatible is a good investment that will
definitely pay off in the end.
24. The liveliness of your family Altar determines how far your marriage will receive God’s
support.
25. Invest love and time in helping one another overcome your weaknesses.
26. Give allowance for failure knowing that you too do fail sometimes, and you will always
want your spouse to understand and bear with you.
27. Say and do unto your spouse what you will have her say and do unto you.
28. Faith and patience are necessary for marriage to work….. “Better a patient man than a
warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)
29. He who covers over an offence promotes love. (Proverbs 17:9)
30. Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
(Proverbs 19:18)
31. He who loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and oil will never be rich.
(proverbs 21:17)
32. A humble wife brings out the lover in the husband.
33. The sweetness of marriage can only be discovered when the home is peaceful.
34. Trust gives strength to a relationship.
35. Who you did not submit to, you cannot obey.
36. The proof of love is obedience……Love without obedience is fake.
37. Sincerity is a necessity in relationship.
38. Pointing the accusing finger does not solve problems, but compound and defer them.
39. A peaceful home is not just prayed down, but worked out.
40. Conquer self and the problems will disappear.
41. If you really love your spouse, do what will please him or her at all times.
42. If you will channel your energy and effort at building and perfecting yourself, you will
attract a quality partner.
43. Obedience is the proof of love. Submission is part of obedience.
44. When love is strong in the heart, it is easy to overlook an offence
45. When bitterness becomes strong, it is a sign that love is weak.
46. Your partner is not supposed to take God’s place in your life. God must always be number
one in your life. When the order is changed, things go wrong.
47. It takes sincerity for marriage or any other kind of relationship to work successfully.
48. If your husband is not standing by you and you are not standing by him, then you have no
business with each other.
49. Build your family on Christ, the Rock that cannot be moved.
50. Your marriage is all about you; just you - your character, habits, desires and dreams.
51. Marriage is not about wishes, but purposeful actions.
52. Marriage problems are proofs of a lack of wisdom in the area of conflict…..Wisdom is not
just knowledge, but the right application of knowledge. Failure to apply the knowledge you
have is foolishness.
53. Failure to deal with the weaknesses in one’s life is an invitation to crisis in the home. Your
weaknesses will always manifest until you overcome them.
54. Pointing of the accusing finger is not the solution to relationship problems. Both of you
should settle down and look at yourselves critically and sincerely and deal with what needs
to be dealt with.
55. Your thoughts towards your spouse determine how you relate with him or her.
56. Respect is a product of our mental assessment of our spouse. A lack of it reveals a bad
mental picture of your spouse.
57. The atmosphere you create determines your experience.
58. Don’t give your ears to gossip. What you hear repeatedly, you will eventually believe and
this will affect your marriage negatively. Please read proverbs 26:20-28.
59. Never allow what people say about your spouse to form your opinion about him or her.
60. Never allow what people say about you to change your scriptural opinion of yourself. You
are who God says you are. You have what God says you have. You can do what God says
you can do.
61. Never allow what people say to change your godly principles upon which your marriage
and relationship is built.
62. What you think of your partner is more important than what people think about him or her.
63. Like the soil to seeds, so also the mind to words. What you open your mind to will grow in
you and affect, influence and control you in many ways.
64. Give your mind to what will enhance love, unity, happiness and celebration in your
home……Guard your mind with all diligence…… “Above all else, guard your heart, for it
is the well spring of life”. (Prov.4: 23)
65. You are responsible for all the decisions you make in your marriage……Every other
person is an adviser, while you are the decision-maker in your own marriage.
66. He who speaks into your marriage contributes to the success or failure of your marriage.
67. Life is a collection of choices.
68. Problems never leave you the way they met you. Your attitude to the problem determines
the effect of the problem on you, your spouse, your children and your marriage.
69. You programme your marriage to succeed and become better by the values and habits
formed and displayed yesterday and today. Start now to reprogramme your marriage with
the truth from God’s word.
70. The submission of the wife to the husband, provokes greater love from the husband.
71. Sex in marriage is not only for childbirth, but for union, enjoyment and satisfaction. Lack
of satisfaction causes infidelity.
72. Life without understanding the principles of successful living is always full of miserable
experiences.
73. You are what you do repeatedly.
74. Life is a collection of choices
75. Your decisions in life determine your experiences.
76. Tomorrow will never be an accident. Today started yesterday, tomorrow starts today. You
progress into tomorrow…….Tomorrow is a continuation of today.
77. Stagnant water stinks. Life without changes stinks………Life is dynamic. It requires
changes to be made as at, and when necessary. Don’t remain the same……You can’t
succeed without making changes.
78. Make room in your heart for offences and mistakes so that when they occur you will be
able to forbear and forgive.
79. Love is the medicine that heals every wound. Apply it.
80. See yourself in your spouse and your spouse in you. That is God’s concept of oneness in
marriage.
81. Secrecy destroys trust. Without trust, marriage cannot work.
82. The proof of love is the investment of time.
83. Submission is a strengthener of love, while rebellion is a killer of love.
84. Him whom you submit to will love you more.
85. Love is like wine, it intoxicates. Does your love for your spouse intoxicate you? Measure
it.
86. He who speaks into your marriage programmes you for success or failure.
87. Self-control is a virtue you can’t do without in relationships. Develop it.
88. Listen to others when you talk.
89. Only you can’t be wise, and every other person a fool.
90. Feeding your laziness with excuses is fatal. Watch it!
91. Marriage is not man’s concept, but God’s. So He is in a better position to instruct on
marriage.
92. You can never know more about marriage than the author of marriage.
93. The principles of God never fail to work in the life of the one that practices it.
94. The word works, even in relationships. Use it in faith always.
95. Those who speak into your life and marriage direct the cause of your life and marriage.
96. If you can control your thoughts towards your partner, you can control your words and
actions towards him or her. (Your thoughts give birth to your words and actions.)
97. Always remember that your feelings towards your partner are products of your thoughts.
Therefore changing your thoughts towards your partner can change every feeling.
98. Love is rooted in the heart and expressed through words and actions.
99. Love can turn sour when thoughts towards your partner turn sour. Thoughts stimulate, stir
and control love.
100. It is not counsel that delivers you from trouble but wise counsel.
101. Love is meant to be guarded and protected against all that seek to destroy it.
102. Your marriage is what you make it.
103. Before you complain that your spouse is going out with someone else, ask yourself, am I
responsible? Why the sudden interest in another?
104. Love and much love will win over discontent from your spouse.
105. If your home is built on the word of Christ, the Rock that cannot be moved, your home will
be stable.
106. Avoid “I too know”, it brings rivalry.
107. Avoid reactions that will subdue or inhibit each other’s feelings and opinions about any
given matter.
108. Marriage is nothing but the manifestation of the personalities involved in the marriage.
109. A gentle answer turns away wrath.
110. “I am sorry” is a sign of maturity.
111. Submission is a proof of understanding.
112. Your mate is a gift from God to you. That gift is intended to (a) Protect your focus, (b)
reduce distractions and (c) create a climate of protection. Value your spouse.
113. Not all who are qualified for your attention are qualified for your heart.
114. Those who speak into your life direct your thoughts and create your experiences.
115. For your marriage to work, you must give it your all.
116. Marriage is not a game of luck, but a life that is lived.
117. It takes commitment from both parties to make marriage work.
118. Sincere people are loveable people;be sincere
119. Trust is one of the foundations for durable and enduring marital relationship.Trust one another
120. Giving your ear to gossips is opening the door for the devil to destroy your relationship.
121. Forgiveness and forbearance are the two great pillars of love. Without them, love cannot
survive.
122. To make the right choice in marriage, emotion must be put aside, and the facts considered.
123. Marriage is responsibility meant for only responsible people.
124. Maturity is not just age, but the ability to manage the problem and responsibilities of life.
125. Don’t criticize the other person but rather encourage them to reach their goals
126. Marital well-being requires compromise, sacrifice, letting go and giving up false pride
127. ALWAYS appreciate even little things and NEVER take each other for granted
128. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you can change your partner
129. Periodically go on short trips together (leave the children with grandparents);it will rekindle your love.
130. Never react with fear, anger, or frustration…be loving in times of difficulties and dont get into a “tit for tat!”